That Floating Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.

Laura Miller
Laura Miller

A tech journalist and digital strategist with over a decade of experience covering emerging technologies and their impact on society.